Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
