white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
