I need help removing her.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize