i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
