woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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