I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
