I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
