I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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