just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
