so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
