I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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