What did we do last night that was yellow?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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