so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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