I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
