I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
