Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
