I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
