I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
