Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The feeling are messing with the penis
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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