What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
