The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
