So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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