One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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