I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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