Pregnant stripper...not hot.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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