Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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