just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
