No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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