how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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