i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
