By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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