So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
