Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
