you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Be still, my beating vagina.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
