Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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