READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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