hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
