He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize