I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
