it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Non-Jews are for practice
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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