I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
