dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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