Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
