I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
