RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
