It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
