You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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