How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
no, he came in my armpit
it was like eating out sand paper
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
