They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
