He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize