oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
