ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize