I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
