is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
wow bdsm is so cute
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