Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
